Therapy: The Bond and the Reason for Being There.

Hi Mary,

Your article is pithy and poignant.

Thank you.

At the same time, I think you sort of speak about therapy as if all therapy is the same.

Study after study after study demonstrates that the primary factor for progressing in "therapy" is the bond between client and therapist.

Perhaps, your bond was not what it might have been.

Choosing a therapist can be daunting. Especially if you feel that a therapist has more power or status than you have; which may (or may not) have been the case with your experience.

The sense you describe of 'needing to be fixed' is debilitating. It’s a dynamic which disempowers exactly in the ways you refer to.

Your feeling of needing to be "better" might come from your therapist. It might come from you. Or more likely, it might come from the vibration created between the two of you.

You mention that you learned you didn't 'need' therapy; which begs the question, "What brought you to a therapist in the first place? And, "Why were you there?"

These questions can define the whole experience. For example, if you go to therapy out of a sense of obligation, or because somebody is pressuring you to go, this dynamic may neutralize any positive effect.

You might be working AGAINST yourself in order to prove your independence, or your validity; or, to avenge yourself for the insinuation that you 'need' therapy in the first place.

Anyway, I'm glad you're growing. That's what's most important.

It's wonderful you're expanding your sense of your worth and your wellbeing.

With Love,

Jonathan : )

PS - In your first sentence, my choice might be to use "are", rather than "is", since "Therapy and its benefits" strikes me as plural.